MUSIC  LIB. 

ML 

50 

P3U  PENN 

1917 

LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN 


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THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

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OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


GIFT   of 
Meredith  Willson 
Stanley  Ring  Collection 


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LIBRETTO    AND    LYRICS    ONLY 


The  Lass  Of  Limerick  Town 

A  Romantic  Comic  Opera 

in 

Two  Acts 


Written  and  Composed  by 
ARTHUR  A.  PENN 

Author  and  Composer  of  ' '  Yokohama  Maid, ' '  Etc. 


Vocal  Score  and  Libretto,  complete  $1.50 
Separate  Vocal  Numbers,  each  .  .  .30 
Stage  Director's  Book 75 

Orchestra  Parts  for  hire    only  to  parties  having 
obtained  publishers'  permission  for  performance 


Copyrighf  MCMXVII.  by 

M.  WITMARK  &  SONS 


Infernafional  Copyrighf  Secured 


/- 


d  an    nnse 


THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN 


CAST. 

Sir  Charles  Wqrthington  (light  tenor) An  English  Squire 

CapT.   PomeROY    W'ORTHINGTON    (tenor) His  Son 

Lady  WorthingtON    (contralto) His  Wife 

Betty  McCoy  (   (sopranos) Cousins,  wards  of  the  Judge 

Rose  McCoy  )  . 

Judge  Hooley   (bass  or  baritone) The  Guardian 

Justin  OTlynN   (baritone) An  Amorous  Attorney 

Mrs.  O'FlynN    (contralto)    '. His  Mother 

Ezra  Q.  Hicks   (light  baritone) An  Elderly  Yankee  Farmer 

Pat  (baritone)    An  Inn-keeper 

Mike   (light  baritone) An  ostler 

Molly    (mezzo)    A  Waitress 

Mr.  Smith   (tenor) The  Coachman 

Mr.    Partington    (baritone) The   Butler 

CHORUS  of  Villagers,   Guests,   Men  Servants.   Etc. 

Act  I.      Outside  the  "King's  Head"   Inn,   Limerick,   Ireland. 
(A  Week  Elapses) 

Act  II.      The  Entrance  Hall  of  Judge  Hooley's  Home,  LimerkL 
Time — Early  Summer  in  the  year   1890. 


MUSICAL  NUMBERS. 

Act  I. 

OVERTURE— 

1.  OPENING  CHORUS "Lads  and  Lassies" 

(b)  SONG   (Pat) "I  am  the  Landlord" 

(c)  CHORUS ''As  We  Drink  to  Your  Health" 

2.  SONG    (Mike) "Mollv  A/me" 

3.  DUET    (Judge  Hooley  and  Rose) "Tick-tock'' 

4.  SONG  (Rose) 'Was  Ever  Fate  so  Cruel  as  Mine?" 

5.  CHORUS "Betty  is  a  Darling' 

6.  SONG  (Betty  and  Chorus) "Betty  McCoy" 

7.  DUET    (Betty  and  Rose) "Wealth  and  Poverty" 

8.  QUINTET  (Betty.  Rose,  Mrs.  OTlynn,  Justin  and  Judge  Hooley), 

"Hey-diddle-diddle,   Oh,  Here  is  a  Riddle" 

9.  TRIO    (Judge   Hooley.   Justin  and   Mrs.   OTlynn) "What  Fun!" 

10.  SONG   (Capt.  Worthington) "Ireland  Dear,  My  Heart's  For  You" 

11.  CHORUS    "Watch   Him   Greet  His  Bride-io-be" 

12.  DUET    (Capt.   Worthington  and   Betty) "Your  Eyes  are  Bright" 

1  3.     FINALE  ACT  I "Oh,  Mr.  O'Flynn" 

Act  II. 

14.  OPENING  SOLOS  and  CHORUS "'Tis  Nine  O' Clock" 

15.  TRIO    (Rose,   Betty  and  Capt.   Worthington) "Tis   the  Heart" 

16.  SONG   (Capt.  Worthington) "Come  Back,  Beloved" 

1  7.  SONG   (Judge  Hooley  and  Chorus) "Maggie  Maguire" 

1  8.  ENSEMBLE    "Sir  Charles  and  Lady" 

19.  DUET  (Sir  Charles  and  Lady  Worthington) "Youth  Undutiful" 

20.  SONG   (Ezra  Q.  Hicks) "A  Farmer's  Life" 

21.  DUET  and  FINALE "/  Love  You,  Little  Siveetheart" 


ACT  I. 


ide  the  "King's  Head"  Inn,  Limerick-      The  Inn  is  shoivn  on  the  Right 

th  main  door  and  small  porch  enclosing  it.      A   signboard  hangs  over 

The  background  is  a  stretch  of  pastures  rvith  distant  hills.      Opposite 

hor,  eic,  of  a  house  occupied  by  the  O'Flynn  i.     When  the  curtain 


Library 


THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN 


rises,  the  iorvnsfolk  are  discovered  having  a  good  time,  for  it  is  a  hoUda^.  The 
members  of  the  Chorus  should,  during  the  singing  of  the  Opening  Number,  display 
plenty  of  movement.     Some  of  them  should  come  in  and  out  of  the  Inn  door.) 

No.  1 — Opening  Chorus 

Lads  and  lassies  play  together. 

This  is   a   holiday; 
Skies  are  bluer,  hearts  are  truer. 

Troubles   fewer.      Say  I 
When  it's  fine  and  sunny  weather. 

Limerick  Town  is  gay: 
All  together,  now,  hip  hooray! 
Bless  the  weather,  that's  what  we  say. 
Summer's   coming   to   Limerick   Town, 
Winter's   gone  with  its   ugly    frown. 
In  the  bright  sunshine  we  will  merrily  sing. 
Lads  and  lassies,  come  out  and  play 
On  this   jolly   old  holiday; 
Ev'rybody  be  glad  and  gay! 
Time  soon  passes. 
So,   lads  and  lassies. 

Now   dance, — ah,   dance! 

(Dance) 
(Enter  Pat,  followed  by  Mike,  from  Inn  door) 
Pat.      Good  morning,   folks,  I  give  you  hearty  greetings! 
Mike       I  wonder  if  that's  all  he's  going  to  give  *em? 

Pat 
I  am  the  landlord  of  this  inn. 
And  I'm  a  generous  fellow. 
To  celebrate  we'll  now  begin 

With  ale  that's  mild  and  mellow. 
(to  Mike)      Go  fetch  the  tankards  from  the  bar 

And  fill  them  to  the  top,  sir.  (Mike  goes  in) 

They  tell  me  that  some   folk  there  are 
Who  never  touch  a  drop,  sir! 
Chorus 
A  drop,  sir!  A  drop,  sir! 
They  never  touch  a  drop,  sir! 
Weak  tea  is  all  they  ever  drink. 
Unless   it's   ginger-pop,   sir! 
(Enter  Mike  ivith  tankards  ivhich  he  distributes) 
Pat 
I  am  the  landlord  and  I  think 
That  I'm  a  generous  fellow. 
This  is  my  treat, — so  all  may  drink 
My  health  in  ale  that's  mellow. 
(to  audience)      The  solemn  truth  I  can't  deny, 

(This  is  the  way  I  skin  'em!) 
Those  tankards  wouldn't  hurt  a  fly. 
Because  there's  nothing  in  *em! 
Chorus 
As  we  drink  to  your  health  and  your  wealth,  good  sir. 
We  are  quick  to  see 
Your   generosity. 
And   we   think   that   our   thirst   at    its   worst,    good   sir. 
Will  be  satisfied 
Altho'   there's  not  a  drop  inside! 
Lads  and  lassies,  play  together,   etc. 
Pat.      Now  get  a  move  on  yez,  Mike!      Take  thim  tankards  in  an'  rinse 
'em   at   the   kitchen   sink. 

1763533 


THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN 


Mike.  Rinse  the  tankards,  bedad!  I'm  an  ostler,  I  am,  and  don't  get 
pwd  fer  washin'  annything  save  the  hosses'  fate! 

Pat,      Molly  will  help  yez. 

Mike.      Thin  it's  me  fer  the  tankards! 

{He  collects  them  and  carries  them  into  the  Inn.  Enter  Mrs.  0'Fl\)nn  and 
Justin  from  door  of  house,  L.) 

Pat.  Ah,  Mrs.  O'Flynn!  'Tis  bright  an'  smilin'  like  the  mornin'  ye  are. 
An'  you,  Mr.  O'Flynn,  can't  the  sunshine  hatch  out  a  smile  on  \)our  face,  such 
a  day  as  this? 

Justin.  Alas,  good  inn-keeper!  How  can  I  smile  when  a  gnawing  canker 
is  forever  eating  away  the  cockles  of  me  heart? 

Mrs.  O'Flynn.  Stuff  an'  nonsense!  I  nivver  did  see  the  hkes  of  such  a 
lover!      Melancholy  an'  mopin'   an'   downcast!      Ye'll  nivver  win   her   that  way! 

Justin    {gloomily).     She  thinks  it's  her  money   I'm  after, 

Mrs.  O'Flynn.  Well,  an'  aren't  you  a  successful  attorney  at  that?  Didn't 
ye  jist  win  yer  twinty-third  suit  in  the  County  Court? 

Justin.  Would  that  I  could  win  my  suit  in  the  Court  of  Cupid  as  easily 
as  I  win  them  in  the  County  Court!      {He  exits  into  Inn.) 

Mrs.  O'Flynn.  Poor  lad!  He's  gettin'  discouraged,  an'  a  discouraged 
lover  is  the  most  discouragin'  thing  to  have  around  one  I  know. 

Pat.  It's  hard  to  win  a  girl  with  money,  Mrs.  O'Flynn,  an'  Rose  McCoy 
would  be  hard  to  win  ivithoui  it,  I'm  thinkin'.  But  come  an'  let  me  show  you 
me  new  pet.      He's  tied  up  in  the  backyard. 

Mrs.  O'Flynn.    Another  dog,  Pat? 

Pat.  Aye,  an'  the  biggest  Norwegian  fish-hound  ye  ivver  set  eyes  on! 
Jist  got  him  from  abroad.  {Looks  at  eager  cron>d) .  Aye,  ye  can  all  come  an' 
take  a  look  if  ye'll  promise  not  to  tread  on  me  radishes! 

{Pat  takes  Mrs.  O'Flynn  s  arm  and  the^  go  into  Inn,  follovfed  b^  the  crojvd, 
some  of  whom  use  exit  R.  3.) 

{Enter  Mike  and  Moll^,  R.  3) 

Molly.      Ye're   a  dandy   dish-washer,   Mike! 

Mike.     If  ye'll  only  marry  me,  Molly  mine,  I'll  wash  all  the  dishes  for  yez! 

Molly.  What  a  hero  ye  are,  Mike !  Washin'  dishes  is  the  curse  o'  married 
life! 

Mike,  Well,  thin,  Molly,  I'll  take  the  curse  upon  me!  Only  say  the  word, 
Molly  mine! 

No,  2,     SONG   {Mike) 
Me   heart  is  palpitatin',   Molly   mine. 
Against   me    ribs    'tis   batin',    Molly   mine! 
I    cannot   sleep    o'    nights   at   all, 
For  thinkin'   of  what  might  befal 
If  you  should  keep  me  waitin',  Molly  mine! 
Molly   mine,    Molly   mine. 
That's  what  you  ought  to  be! 
Mine   alone,    all   my   own, 
Wedded  for  life  to  me, 
Oh,  such  a  wife  to  me! 
Molly   mine,    Molly   mine, 
Dainty,   demure,  divine! 
Oh,   tell   me   true — say   that   you 
Will  be  Molly  mine! 
I  cannot  eat  me  dinner,  Molly  mine; 
They  say  I'm  gettin'  thinner,  Molly  mine! 
I've  often   said,    '"Tis  very   plain 
I'd  soon   be   quite   mesilf   again. 
If  only  I  could  win  her!"   Molly  mine! 
{Exeunt  Molly  and  Mike  to  Inn) 
{Enter  Judge  Hooley  and  Rose,  L.  3) 
Rose.     But,  Mr.  Hooley,  it  is  all  so  romantic,  and  you  know  I  hate  romance! 
HooleY,      True,  my  dear,   true.      But  it  cannot  be  helped.      The  Captain 


THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN 


came   of  age  last  week,   and,   by  the  terms   of   a   death-bed   pact,   it  seems  he  is 
obliged  to  marry  you! 

Rose,  Marry,  indeed!  Why  should  I  marry?  I've  never  yet  seen  the 
man  that  /'d  marry! 

HoOLEY.  That  is  literally  and  figuratively  true,  my  love.  But  you  will 
see  the  Captain  very  shortly.      He  is  due  today,  if  I  mistake  not. 

Rose.      He  will  be  sorry  he  came! 

HoOLEY  {looking  at  her  aJmiringl])) .     You  do  yourself  an  injustice,  my  dear! 

Rose.  Isn't  there  any  way  out  of  it?  Can't  we  destroy  the  papers  or 
something  desperate  like  that? 

HooLEY.  There  are  no  papers!  Simply  a  promise.  The  Captain's  father 
promised  his  old  friend,  pour  father,  when  that  same  father  of  yours  lay  dying, 
that  his  son — the  Captain — should  marry  you  just  as  soon  as  the  son  came  of  age. 
You  can  destroy  papers,  my  dear,  but  not  a  promise!  So  there  you  are,  and  you 
had  better  make  up  your  mind  to  make  the  best  of  it. 

Rose.     The  best  of  it!     That's  the  rvorst  of  it! 

HoOLEY.  After  all,  Capt.  Pomeroy  Worthington  may  prove  a  highly  de- 
sirable husband. 

Rose  (scornfully)).  Who  ever  heard  of  a  highly  desirable  husband? 
They're  only  that  before  they  ever  become  husbands!  As  for  this  Capt.  Pomeroy 
Worthington,  he's  after  my  money,  that's  what  /jc  is!  I  wish  that  American  rich 
uncle  of  mine  had  left  his  old  money  to  an  art  gallery  or  something!  Why  did 
he  leave  it  to  me  and  not  to  cousin  Betty,  Mr.  Hooley? 

HoOLEY.  Ah!  It  n>as  a  narrow  escape,  my  dear!  You  see  he  left  it  all 
to  the  elder  of  his  two  nieces,  and  you  happened  to  be  the  unfortunate  victim! 

Rose.  But  Betty's  birthday  and  mine  are  both  on  the  same  day  and  we 
were  born  in  the  same  year! 

No.    3.      DUET    (Rose   and   Hooley) 
HoOLEY  In  eighteen-hundred  and  seventy-two. 

The  twenty-fourth  of  May, 
There  were  two  charming  babies  who 
Were  born  that  self-same  day. 
Rose  And  one  was  cousin  Betty? 

Hooley  Yes!      'Tis  just  as  you  suppose! 

Rose  The  other  new  arrival  was — 

Hooley  Yourself,   my  charming   Rose! 

But  you  were  bom  at  five  o'clock, 
'  Fis  thus  Fate  plays  her  tricks ! 
Your   cousin    Betty   was    delayed 
Until   the   clock   struck   six! 

Together  Tick-tock,  tick-tock. 

One-two-three-four-five ! 
Tick-tock,   tick-tock, 

I'lve  saw    /^^  \  arrive! 
(me  ; 

Tick-tock,   tick-tock. 
Here's  the  point  that  rticks: 
There  was  just  a  diff'rence  petty 
,_    .       (yourself)        ,  .      _, 

^  "^^^^    (  myself  )  *"^   cousm   Betty, 
For  Betty  didn't  show  herself  till  six! 
(Enter  Justin  from  Inn) 
Hooley.      Ah,   Mr.  O'Flynn,  resting  today,   I  suppose! 
Rose.      That  pest  of  an  attorney  again ! 

Justin.  The  law  never  rests,  Mr.  Hooley,  so  why  should  I?  The  law — 
but   (looking  at  Rose) — this  is  no  place  for  legal  reflections! 

Hooley  (aside).  I  hope  his  reflections  in  regard  to  this  young  lady  are 
legal,  anyway;  but  his  looks  misgive  me!-  (To  the  others)  Well,  youn"  people, 
/  must  be  going.     Rose,  I  will  be  back  soon.      Entertain  Mr.  O'Flynn. 

(Hooley  exits  R.  3) 


THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN 


Justin.  Ah,  yes!  If  you  cannot  entertain  my  proposals,  at  least  be  char- 
itable and  try  and  entertain  me! 

Rose  {scornfully) .  Why  do  you  persist  in  pestering  me  with  your  attentions, 
Mr.  O'Flynn?     Don't  you  know  I  am  already  betrothed? 

Justin.  Alas,  yes!  But  there's  many  a  slip  'twixt  the  cup  and  the  lip! 
You,  who  have  rejected  me  so  often,  can  surely  reject  your  unseen  affianced  once! 
At  least,  let  me  continue  to  hope! 

Rose.  That  favor  I  cannot  withhold.  But  I  tell  you  your  hope  is  hopeless. 
Now,  go!  (Justin  starts  off).  Wait,  I  need  your  advice!  (He  stops  hopefully). 
I  will  pay  you  for  it. 

Justin.     Pay  me!     Oh,  cruel! 

Rose   (coldly).     It  is  legal  advice  I  seek.     Can  you  break  a  will? 

Justin.     I  have  done  such  things. 

Rose.  Oh,  bother,  I  forgot.  This  isn't  a  case  of  a  will.  It's  a  promise. 
Can  you  break  a  promise} 

Justin.     Not  to  you] 

Rose.  Was  there  ever  such  a  man?  I  want  you  to  break  a  promise  that 
was  made  by  somebody  else  and  that  is  causing  me  a  great  deal  of  annoyance. 
Can  you  do  it? 

Justin.     I — I — I  don't  understand — 

Rose.  A  pretty  lawyer  you  are!  (Impatiently).  How  much  do  I  owe 
you  for  this  consultation? 

(Justin,  rvith  a  gesture  of  despair,  exits  L.  2) 

No.    4.      SONG    (Rose) 
Was  ever  fate  so  cruel  as  mine? 

My   feelings   I   can't   master. 
Some  wicked  influence  malign 

Seems  leading  to  disaster. 
Oh,  cousin  Betty!      Would  that  she 
Were  but  a   few  hours  older, — 
She'd  bear  these  trials  cheerfully. 
As  I  have  often  told  her! 
The  poets  write  in  reams  and  reams  of  measured  rhyme 

Of  love  and  duty,   and   faith   and  beauty. 
They  seem  to  spend  most  of 'their  efforts  and  their  time 

On  themes  romantic  that  drive  me   frantic. 
Their  heroes  always  "steal  a  heart  away," — 

Which  fits  my  own  case  nicely. 
/  have  no  heart  to  give  to  anyone, 
(That  states  the  truth  precisely!) 
If  ever  heart  was  stole  away. 

Ere  love  had  time  to  tame  it, — 
That   heart   is   mine,    and    come   what   may, 

I  still  intend  to  claim  it. 
If  Captain   Pomeroy   I  wed, 
I'll   see  that  he's   arrested 
For   thus   receiving   stolen    goods, — 
He'll   not   go   unmolested! 
(recit.)  But,   hark!      I  hear  the   crowd   approaching. 

I'll   never   let   them   see   that    I    am   worried. 
Ah!    'Tis   cousin   Betty! 
(Music.      Enter  Chorus,  Betty  in  their  midst.      She  runs  forward  to  Rose 
in  greeting.) 

No.  5.     CHORUS 
Betty  is  a  darling,  Betty's  full  of  fun, 
Betty  has  a  pair  of  eyes  that  smile  on  ev'ryone! 
Betty's  so  good-natured,  she  never  wears  a  frown, 
Betty  is  the  one  and  only  lass  of  Limerick  Town! 


THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN 


(Men  only) 

(Cirls  only) 
(Men  only) 


Ev'ry  man  among  us,  ev'ry  single  boy. 
Wants  to  marry  Betty,  sweet  little  Betty  McCoy! 
If  you  marry  Betty,  what  will  become  of  us? 
None  of  us  can  marry  Betty,  so  girls,  don't  make  a  fuss! 

Omnes. 

Betty  is  a  darling,  Betty's  full  of  fun. 


Etc 


No.  6. 


SONG  (Betty  and  Chorus) 

I've  a  big  reputation  for  much  animation. 

They  say  I  am  never  at  rest; 
I've  even  heard  rumors  that  most  of  my  humors 

Are  the  kind  that  most  people  like  best! 
Folks  all  like  me  around  'em,  that's  'cause  I  have  found  'em 

Agreeable   and   pleasant   to   me; 
Oh,  it's  easy  to  get  on  with  folks  who  are  set  on 

Contriving  how  sweet  they  can  be! 
Still,   I'm   glad  that  I'm   Betty  McCoy 

—McCoy! 
I'm  glad  I'm  a  girl,  not  a  boy! 

— a  boy! 
"I  love  you,  mavourneen!"  said  someone  this  mornin*. 

To  hear  'em  just  say  it  was  joy! 

— Joy.    joy! 
Life  isn't  all  sunny,  or  honey,  or  money. 

In  gold  there  is  often  alloy! 
But  enjoy  all  the  zest  of  it,  just  make  the  best  of  it! 

Good  for  you,   Betty  McCoy! 

(Chorus  repeats) 

So  says  Miss  Betty  McCoy! 
(Exeunt  Chorus) 
dear,   I'm  so  glad  you  are  here  at  last!      Betty  dear,   I'm 
I'm  going  to  get  married! 

Betty.     Oh,  you  poor  thing! 

Rose.     Captain  Pomeroy  Worthington  is  due  almost  at  any  moment, 
say  he  has  got  to  marry  me! 

Betty.      Poor  fellow! 

Rose    (with   rising  inflection).      "Poor  fellow"! 

Betty  (hastily).  I  mean  it's  a  shame  you  should  have  to  marry  somebody 
you  don't  care  a  rap  about! 

Rose.     Why,  lots  of  husbands  I  know  don't  care  a  rap  about  their  wives. 

Betty.  But  that's  because  they  are  their  wives.  They  didn't  feel  that 
way  about  them   before  they  were  their  wives ! 

Rose.     What  are  we — what  am  /  going  to  do? 

Betty  (after  a  pause).  I  have  it!  Let's  change  places.  You  be  me 
and  I'll  be  you! 

Rose.     TTiat  isn't  a  bit  original. 

Betty.  I  know  it  isn't.  That's  why  the  plan  will  probably  succeed.  You 
see,  if  /  pretend  to  be  you,  he'll  think  /  have  the  money,  and  of  course,  he'll 
fall  in  love  with  me! 

Rose.      But  what  about  you}      You  haven't  seen  him,  either! 

Betty.  What  difference  does  that  make?  I  haven  t  seen  him,  true!  And 
if  love  really  makes  one  blind,  why,  I  never  shall ! 

Rose.  The  plan  sounds  feasible.  I  hate  to  do  these  stagey  things,  but  I 
suppose  there's  no  help  for  it. 

Betty.  Remember,  then.  Rose,  from  this  moment  /  am  Rose  and  you  are 
Betty.  /  have  the  money,  and  you  have  the  inestimable  privilege  and  pleasure 
of  being  a  rank  pauper! 

Rose  (ecstatically).     Ah,  blessed  poverty  I 


Chorus 
Chorus 

Chorus 
Chorus 


Chorus  (last  time) 

Rose.     Betty, 
in  frightful  distress. 


They 


THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN 


No.  7.     DUET   (Belt]}  and  Rose) 

Betty  Behold   in   me   a  rich  lady! 

The  gallants   all  will  soon  be  kneeling  at  my   feet  I 
Rose  In  me  you  see  grim  poverty; 

This  sudden  metamorphosis   is   quite  complete! 
Betty  Most  people  that  I've  met  are  always  worrying  about 

Just  how  they'll  spend  the  legacy  they  pray  for. 
That's  a  problem  I  shan't  try  to  solve. 
For  on  my  husband  will  devolve 
The  pleasant  task  of  spending  all  I  pay  fori 
Both  Oh,  a  lack  of  humor  surely  you  display 

If  you're  stuck   up  because  you're  rich! 
For  when  with  money  you  are  blessed. 
You  seldom  get  a  moment's  rest, 

Altho'  to  spend  it  all  you  simply  itch! 
But  you  can't  make  up  your  mind  to 
Spend  it  wisely,  and  you  find,  too. 
That  it  doesn't  buy  the  things  you  want  the  most; — 
Whereas   folks  who're  penniless 
Never  suffer  such  distress, — 
What  they  owe,  not  what  they  have,  is  all  their  boast! 

(DANCE) 

(Enter  Judge  Hoole^,  Mrs.  O'Flynn  and  Justin) 

HoOLEY.  Ah,  girls!  Here  you  are  together!  Betty's  smile,  I  see,  is 
infectious;  for  you,  too,  look  happy.  Rose! 

Betty.      Why,   am   I  not  usually  happy? 

HoOLEY.  Of  course  you  are,  my  love.  I  was  addressing  myself  to  Rose, 
not  you! 

Betty.      But  I  am  Rose,  sir! 

Rose.      And  /,  sir — at  your  service! — am   Betty! 

Mrs.  O'FlYNN.  Hoity,  toity!  What  are  we  coming  to?  Surely  their 
heads  are  not  turned! 

Justin.  I  much  fear  a  plot.  What,  in  the  language  of  the  bar,  is  their 
little  game? 

HoOLEY.  As  usual,  Mr.  O'Flynn,  you  have  summed  the  situation  up  with 
the  nicety  of  a  truly  legal  mind!  My  dears, —  (turning  to  Rose  and  Betty)-- — 
what  is  your  little  game? 

No.  8.     QUINTET  (Betty,  Rose,  Mrs.  O'Flynn,  Hooley  and  Justin) 

All  Hey-diddle-diddle,   oh,   here  is  a  riddle, — 

Can  any  one  guess  at  the  answer? 

Such  plain  contradiction  resembles  the  fiction 

Of  some   literary   romancer! 

These   mixed-up   relations   require   lots   of  patience. 

But  doubtless  there's  sense  at  the  bottom ; 

Many  answers  to  puzzles  demand  mental  tussles. 

Though  they're  simple  as  day  when  you've  got  'em! 
HoOLEY         My   charming  wards,    I   do  implore — 
Mrs.   O'Flynn      They  make  me  sore! 
Justin  What's  all  this  for? 

Hooley         Won't  you  explain  this  mystery? 
Mrs.  O'Flynn     It's  Greek  to  me! 
Justin  As  you  may  see! 

Rose  They  seem  quite  hopelessly  nonplussed! 

Betty  Explain  we  must! 

Rose  'Tis  only  just! 

Betty  We  have  really  no  objection 

&  Rose  To  explain  in  this  connection, 


THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN 


For  there's  nothing  In  our  scheme  you  need  distrust! 
Rose  is  Betty  and  Betty  is  Rose, 
That's  the  secret  we  now  disclose. 
Rose  I'm  poor  Betty    cause  I  don't  itch 

To  be  married  just  because  I'm  rich! 
Betty  I  am  Rose,  with  her  bank  account. 

Simply  to  make  the  Captain  mount 
High  on  the  ladder  of  expectancy. 
Thinking,   poor   fellow,   that  he'll   marry   mel 
HooLEY.  Mrs.  O'Flynn 

&  Justin  Ha,  ha,  ha,  ha!   Ho,  ho,  hoi 

Clever  little  girlies,  to  be  sure! 
Such  a  plan  was  never  tried  before! 
Rose  Please  remember  /  am  Bet! 

Betty  /  am  Rose, — now,  don't  forget! 

All  We  must  never  that  important  fact  ignore  1 

Fact  ignore!      Nevermore! 
Ha,   ha,   ha,   ha! 
HooLEY  Haw!   haw!   haw! 

All  Clever  little  girlies,  to  be  sure. 

Such  a  plan  was  never  tried  before! 
{business)         Rose  is  Betty  and  Betty  is  Rose, — 
That's  the  way  the  story  goes! 

Betty.      It's  all  perfectly  simple! 

Rose.     And  it  is  all  simply  perfect! 

Mrs.  O'Flynn.     /  think  it  is  all  perfectly  disgraceful! 

Justin.  Why,  mother,  it  isn't  as  bad  as  that.  Perhaps  Rose  will  marry 
me,  after  all,  now  that  she  is  poor! 

Rose  (tvith  a  toss  of  her  head).  Just  because  I'm  a  poor  girl  doesn't  prove 
that  I'm  a  poor  chooser,  Mr.  O'Flynn. 

Justin.     Crushed  again! 

Hooley.  Well,  it  beats  me!  And  so  you  think  the  Captain  will  fall  in 
love  with  Betty,  do  you? 

Rose.  He  will  naturally  devote  all  his  attention  to  her,  even  if  he  doesn't 
fall  in  love  with  her! 

Betty.  Yes.  He  has  to,  you  see.  //e'll  think  /'m  Rose,  and  it's  Rose 
he  is  promised  to!  Moreover,  as  Rose  has  the  money,  that  settles  it.  Oh,  yes, — 
he's  bound  to  fall  in  love  with  Rose! 

Mrs.  O'Flynn.  Artful  girl!  (Aside)  I  wonder  if  she  really  does  mean 
Rose! 

Rose.  Come  on,  "Rose" !  We  had  best  be  preparing  to  meet  this  gay 
adventurer ! 

Betty.     Ha,  ha!     Come  on,  then,  "Betty"!     What  fun! 

(Belt})  and  Rose  run  off,  laughing,  R.  3.  The  other  three  stand  staring  at 
each  other.) 

Justin    (lugubriously).      Ha,  ha!      What  fun! 

Mrs.  O'Flynn   (scornfully).     Hee,  hee!     What  fun! 

Hooley   (doubtfully).     Ho,  ho!     What  fun! 

No.  9.     TRIO  (Hooley,  Justin  and  Mrs.  O'Flynn) 

It's  a  world  of  contradictions  and  of  paradoxes,  too; 

Youth  is  foolish,  youth  is  wise. 

Youth  sees  things  with  diff'rent  eyes. 
Age  is  often   foolish  also,  but  'tis  mostly  serious. 
And  the  ways  of  younger  folk  sometimes  seem  mysteriouti 


_I0 THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN 

Oh,  when  eyes  are  dimming  fast  with  age. 

When  the  turning  gray's  begun. 
They  look  ahead  with  a  sort  of  dread. 

But  the  young  folks  cry,  "What  fun!" 
Oh,  happy,  happy  Youth  that  always 

Trouble   seems   to  shun, — 
Age  envies  you,   and  wishes,   too. 

That  it  could  say,   "What  fun!" 

(DANCE  and  Exeunt,  L.  1 ) 
{Enter  Capt.  Pomeroy  Worthington,  L.  3) 

Pom.  So  this  is  Limerick  Town!  And  that's  the  Inn!  Good!  I  like  an 
inn.  Makes  things  sociable.  This  is  a  queer  errand  I'm  on,  and  I'm  not  so 
sure  that  I  like  it.  The  fact  is,  I  don't  want  to  get  married.  What  have  I  ever 
done  that  I  should  be  afflicted  with  a  wife?  A  wife's  an  affliction  and,  in  my 
case,  an  infliction  as  well!  What  if  Rose  is  cross-eyed  and  pug-nosed?  What 
if  the  only  thing  that  is  beautiful  about  her  is  her  bank  account?  And  yet  I 
cannot  believe  that  in  a  country  as  beautiful  as  Ireland,  there  can  be  any  but  pretty 
girls!     Whoever  heard  of  an  ugly  Irish  girl?     The  thing's  impossible! 

No.    10.     SONG   (Capt.   Worthington) 

There's  a  spot  in  the  world  that  is  always  green. 

And  green  is  its  mem'ry,  too! 
'Tis  the  fairest  of  gardens  that  eye  hath  seen. 

All  set  in  an  ocean  blue. 
Oh,   the  dancing  eyes  set  the  heart  aflame. 
And  the  rosy  cheeks  put  the  dawn  to  shame, — 
For  an  Irish  girl  is  not  the  same 
As  other  girls  are  to  you! 
Picturesque,  romantic  Ireland, 
Well-belov'd,   much-to-admire  land! 
'Neath  your  sunny  skies  so  blue, 
I  could  live  my  whole  life  through! 
Tender   thoughts   of   dear   old    Erin 
O'er  the  world  your  sons   are  bearin*, — 
Ireland  dear,   my  heart's  for  you, — 
May  your  troubles  soon  be   few! 
Oh,    I've   travelled    far   and   I've   travelled    fast, 

O'er  valley  and  dale  and  down; 
And  I've  come  to  the  parting  of  ways  at  last — 

Success  may  my  wand'rings  crown! 
For  I've  come  in  search  of  a  jewel  rare, 
And  I  wonder  whether  for  me  she'll  care — 
Will  I  find  her  free?    ^Will  I  find  her  fair? 
This  lass  of  Lim'rick  Town! 
(Chorus  enter,  R.  and  L.,  during  the  singing  of  the  last  line  or  two  of  the 
song.     At  the  conclusion  of  the  Refrain,  Chorus  repeats  the  singing  of  "Picturesque, 
romantic  Ireland"  etc.) 

Pom.  Ah,  here  are  some  of  the  Irish  girls,  by  my  soul!  Glad  to  meet 
you,  my  dears!       (He  bows  to  them  with  a  flourish.) 

A  Girl.      Welcome  to  our  city,   sir!       (Curtseying.) 
A  Man.      An'  what  may  you  be   after,   sir? 

Pom.  Well,  candor  compels  me  to  admit  that  I'm  after  a  wife.  I  am  to 
marry  Miss  Rose  McCoy! 

All.      It  is  the  Captain] 

Pom.     Yes,  it  is  the  Captain.     And — (hesitatingly) — is  Rose  among  you? 
A  Girl.     There  is  none  so  fair  as  Rose  among  us,  sir! 
Pom.    (enihusiastically) .      By   Jove,   then   Rose  must  be   fair  indeed!      But 
where  mav  I  find  her,  good  people? 

A  Girl.  Since  you  ask,  I  would  say — speaking  of  angels — here  she  comes! 
(She  looks  off  R.,  as  do  all  the  others.) 


THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN  \  I 


No.   11.     CHORUS. 

Watch  him  greet  his  bride-to-be, 
Watch  her  cheeks  grow  rosy  I 
Unhke   modern   lovers,   he 
Don't  look  dull  and  prosey! 
Greet  the  bridegroom,  greet  the  bride 
On  this  happy  morning! 
Ah,  the  blush  she  cannot  hide. 
Her  fair  cheek  adorning  1 
Hither  comes  the  bride  to  be; 
Watch  her  cheeks  grow  rosy  red. 
See  him  greet  her  happily. 
He  the  man  she  soon  will  wed! 
He  the  lover,  she  the  maid. 
That's  the  way  the  world  goes  'round; 
He  emboldened,  she  afraid. 
Till  each  other's  heart  they've   found. 
Happy   lovers!      Happy   lovers! 
Time  discovers  each  a  mate! 
Hither  comes  the  bride-to-be, — 
Kismet!      Kismet!      It  is  fate! 
{Enter  Rose,  Belly  and  Judge  Hooky,  R.  3) 
Rose.     It  is  he! 
Betty.     Ssh\      Remember! 
Pom.   {homng).     Judge  Hooley,  I  believe? 
HooLEY.     The  same.     And  you,  sir? 
Pom,     Capt.   Pomeroy  Worthington,  at  your  service! 

HoOLEY  (aside).  Good!  If  looks  count  for  anything,  they're  in  his  favor. 
(To  Pom)  I  am  glad  to  meet  you,  sir.  Here  are  my  two  wards, — this  is  Rose 
{indicating  Rose) — ah,  er — I  mean,  this  is  Rose  {indicating  Betty,  who  curtsies) — 
and  this  {indicating  Rose,  who  also  curtsies)  is  Betty!  {aside)  Whew!  {mops 
his  brow)  It's  the  hardest  task  in  the  world  to  be  a  good  liar! 

Pom,  {bowing).  This  is  indeed  a  pleasure,  ladies,  {To  Betty)  And  so  you 
are  Rose?  {aside)  Charming!  Excellent!  She'll  do!  But  just  the  same,  I — 
{turning  to  them)  Ladies,  will  you  and  the  Judge  join  me  in  a  little  cooling 
refreshment,  just  to  breaJc  the  ice,  as  it  were? 

HooLEY.     We  do  not  take  ice  in  ours.  Captain! 

Pom,  {turning  to  crowd).  Be  my  guests  on  this  happy  occasion!  {Leading 
the  way  with  Betty  to  the  Inn)      I  ask  you  all  to  join  me! 

Hooley.     In  that  case,  as  the  indoor  accommodations  are  limited,  sir,  they 
had  best  go  'round  to  the  garden  and  enjoy  your  hospitality  al  fresco. 
Pom,     By  all  means. 

{Exeunt  all,  L.,  except  Pom  and  Betty.  He  offers  her  his  arm.  She  takes 
it.      They  pause  at  the  Inn  door.) 

Pom.     And  so  you  are  really  Rose? 

Betty.     Yes!     Do  you  like  me? 

Pom.   {warmly).     Rather!      {They  go  into  the  Inn.) 

{Enter  Mrs.  O'Flynn  and  Justin  from  House,  L.) 

Mrs.  O'Flynn.  My  son,  you  will  have  to  look  to  your  laurels!  I  saw 
the  Captain  from  the  window,  and  he's  a  likely  young  fellow  indeed! 

Justin,  What  do  I  care,  mother?  It  would  be  all  the  same  were  he  as 
poor  in  looks  as  Betty  is  in  purse.  He's  got  to  marry  Rose,  and  that's  all  there 
is  to  it. 

Mrs.  O'Flynn,  Yes,  but  if  the  girls  really  succeed  in  carrying  out  their 
plan,  he  will  marry  Betty,  thinking  she  is  Rose! 

Justln.     Then  I  shall  be  obliged  to  bring  a  suit  to  annul  such  a  marriage  I 

Mrs.  O'Flynn.      Indade!      And  on  what  grounds? 

Justin.  On  the  grounds  that  I  need  a  fee  badly.  But  come  on,  mother, 
we  must  join  the  merry  throng  and  see  what  is  doing  I 


12  THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN 


{As  the})  exit,  R.  3,  noise  of  merrymakers  heard  from  rear  of  Inn.) 
(Enter  Capt.    Worthington,  from  Inn.) 

Pom.  Too  much  toasting  for  me!  I  must  have  time  to  collect  my  breath 
and  my  thoughts.  And  so!  They  think  they've  fooled  me,  do  they!  They're 
not  as  smart  as  they're  pretty.  Let's  see, — ii>hat  did  father  say?  "Be  careful 
of  their  tricks,  my  lad,"  says  he,  "and  be  sure  that  you  get  mixed  up  mth  the 
right  girll"  Mixed  up!  I  should  say  so!  I'll  bet  they've  changed  places  and 
names,  both  of  'em!  Why  wouldn't  they?  All  the  circumstances  of  this  romantic 
engagement  encourage  the  fact  that  they  should.  All  right.  Let's  see!  I  have 
to  marry  Rose — sacred  promise,  and  all  that  sort  of  thing — besides,  our  family 
needs  the  money.  Well,  then.  Rose  is  the  one  I  must  make  up  to!  So  I'll  have 
to  switch  my  eyes  from  Betty  to  Rose, — or  rather,  from  Rose  to  Betty.  Oh, 
confound  it!  This  is  very  confusing!  Anyhow,  one  thing  is  clear.  I  like  Betty, 
who  says  she's  Rose — and  I'll  swear  isn't! — and  I  wish  I  could  believe  she  is 
Rose!  But,  no,  no!  I'm  too  smart  for  that!  I  must  transfer  all  my  attentions 
to  the  other — to  Rose,  the  real  Rose — the  Rose  with  the  bank-roll.     Ah,  she  comes  1 

(Enter  Rose,   from   Inn) 

Rose.     We  were  looking  for  you,  Capt.  Worthington. 

Pom.     Don't  call  me  "Capt.  Worthington",  Betty!     Call  me  "Pom." 

Rose.     It  sounds  so  absurd. 

Pom.     I  know  it.     But  you'll  get  to  like  it  when  you  get  to  hke  me! 

Rose  (aside).  Very  forward,  I  must  say!  (To  him)  Had  you  not  better 
keep  such  confidences  for  my  cousin  Rose,  sir,  to  whom  you  are  betrothed? 

Pom.  (aside).  Ah,  she's  clever!  But  she  can't  fool  me!  (To  her)  But, 
Betty,  I  can't  help  loving  you,  somehow.     Your  style  of  beauty,  your  possessions — 

Rose  (astonished).     My  possessions! 

Pom.  (hastily).  I  mean  your  graces,  your  excellencies,  your  eyes,  your  hair, 
your  smile,  and  all  that  sort  of  thing,  dont-you-know ! 

Rose.     Ohl 

Pom.      Your  cousin,  of  course,  is  charming — very  charming,  no  doubt! — 

but, — 

Rose.     But,  Capt.  Worthington,  you  have  got  to  marry  her.     You  have  no 

choice. 

Pom.  (indignantly).  No  choice!  Must  filthy  lucre,  then,  take  precedence 
over  a  loyal  heart?  Must  I  marry  Rose  and  her  money  to  fatten  my  bank  account 
and  lose  you  and  your  beauty  to  starve  my  very  soul} 

Rose  (aside).  He  speaks  beautifully!  But  I  don't  believe  a  word  of  it! 
There's  something  underlying  all  this.  (To  Pom)  Come,  sir,  you  had  better 
rejoin  your  guests.      (She  goes  into  Inn.      The  Captain  follows  her.) 

(Enter  Betty,  R.   3) 

Betty.  Ah,  me!  What  a  splendid  fellow  he  is!  I  wonder  if  Rose  likes 
him  as  much  as  I  do?  And  I  wonder  if  he  really  will  fall  in  love  with  me,  thinking 
I  am  Rose?  Why,  that  would  be  dreadful!  He'd  even  want  to  marry  me,  I 
suppose,  and  I  wouldn't  know  whether  it  was  I  or  the  money  he  was  after!  Ah, 
well,  let's  hope  he  will  really  fall  in  love  with  the  real  Rose,  and  so  satisfy  his 
heart  and  his  pocket-book  at  the  same  time.  (She  turns  toward  Inn,  listening  to 
the  sounds  of  revelry.  Then  she  runs  to  the  door  and  collides  with  Pom.,  who 
is  again  coming  out.) 

Pom.  Ah,  here  you  are.  Rose!  We've  been  looking  for  you!  (She  tries 
to  pass  him)      No!     Come  here!      I  want  to  tell  you  something,  Rosel 

No.    12.     DUET   (Capt.   Worthington  and  Betty) 

Pom. 
Oh,  Rose,  you  cannot  close  your  ears, 

for  have  I  not  the  right,  dear. 
To  say  it  certainly  appears 

We're  in  an  equal  plight,  dear? 
It  seems  I  have  to  wed  you,  Rose, — 


IHE  LA55  OF  LIMERICK   lOWN  13 


Betty 
And  is  that  such  a  task,  sir? 
Perhaps  you  wish  me  dead, — who  knows  I 
What  is  it  you  would  ask,  sir? 

Pom. 
Your  eyes  are  bright,  your  face  is  fair  to  see! 
I'm  wond'ring  if  you'd  really  like  to  be 
The  wile  of  him  who  sings  this  song  to  you! 
If  he  should  ask  you  now  to  answer  "Yes", — what  would  you  do? 

Betty 

What  could  I  do,  what  could  I  say? 

The  whole   thing's  cut  and  dried,   sir; — 
Though  at  the  prospect  yesterday 

I  almost  could  have  died,  sir! 
But   for   release  in   vain   I   sighed, — 

Pom. 

I  swear  by  Heav'n  above  you, 
I'm  half  persuaded  now  that  I'd 

Not  find  it  hard  to  love  you! 

Together 
(My   )  ,    .  ,       (my   )     ,        ... 

(Your)  ^y^^  ^^^  bright,    (yo^^-)    face  is  fair  to  see! 

(He's)  .  (I'd     ) 

(I'm    )   ^°^^  ""8  '^  (she'd)    ^^^^'^  "*^^  ^°  °^ 

The  wife  of  him  who  wooes  with  ardor  young, — 

The  answer  must  be  left  unsaid,  although  the  song  is  sung! 
(During  the  last  four  lines  of  the  Duet,  Justin  has  entered,  but  steps  back 
quickh  into  the  porch  and  watches  them  surreptitiously).     Capt.    Worthington  and 
Belt))  exit  R.   3,  and  Justin  steps  out.) 

Justin.  Upon  my  word,  I  believe  the  man  is  making  real  love  to  Betty! 
A  pretty  hole  he'll  find  himself  in  with  his  father  if  he  does.  (Producing  a  letter) 
Here's  a  letter  from  the  old  gentleman.  (Reads  the  address)  "Capt.  P.  Worthing- 
ion,  care  of  Justin  O'Flynn,  Esquire,  Attorney."  Good!  I  see  a  fee  out  of  the 
case  yet!  Well,  this  looks  as  if  it  might  be  important.  I'll  not  give  it  to  him 
now.      (Looks  towards  Inn)      He  might  lose  it. 

(Enter  Mrs.  O'Flynn  from  Inn) 

Mrs.  O'Flynn.     Come,  son,  I'm  a  little  tired.     Take  me  home. 

Justin.  Very  well,  mother.  (Takes  her  arm  and  sees  her  to  door.)  Take 
this  letter  and  put  it  in  a  safe  place.     Maybe  there's  money  in  it. 

Mrs.  O'Flynn  (looking  at  it).  As  it  isn't  addressed  to  us,  there  probably 
isf  (She  goes  into  house  with  the  letter.  Justin  goes  back  stage  towards  R.  3, 
and  stays  there  half -concealed.) 

(Enter  Pom.   and  Rose  from  Inn) 

Rose.  But  I  tell  you,  you  are  wasting  your  time!  How  dare  you  make 
love  to  me  when  it  is  my  cousin  Rose  you  are  to  marry? 

Pom.  That's  why  I'm  making  love  to  you\  You  see,  I  want  to  make  Rose 
jealous.     If  a  girl  isn't  jealous,  she  can't  really  love  a  fellow,  you  know. 

Rose.  Are  you  sure  that  is  your  only  object?  Are  you  sure  you're  not  in 
earnest  with  me? 

Pom.  You  know  I  am  obliged  to  marry  Rose,  so  why  should  I  not  be  in 
earnest  with  you? 

Rose  (perplexed) .  Really,  I'll  be  wondering  who  I  am  in  a  minute.  This 
thing  is  setting  me  crazy.  (To  Pom)  Why  don't  you  put  things  more  plainly, 
Capt.  Worthington? 

Pom.  Since  you  wish,  my  charming  Betty,  I  will  put  things  plainly.  If 
you  were  Rose,  would  you  marry  me  if  I  asked  you  to? 

RoS£.     If  I  were  Rose,  I  should  have  to,  so  why  ask  ne? 


M THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN 

Pom.  (triumphantly).  Exactly!  I  don't  have  to  ask.  I  take  it  for  granted 
you  will  marry  me  because  you  have  to! 

Rose.     Of  course, — er,  that  is  to  say,  if  I  jvere  Rose! 

Pom.  {aside).  She  is!  I'm  positive  of  it!  The  money's  safe.  I  wish 
/  was!  {To  Rose)  And  tonight  we  will  settle  matters  formally  with  everybody, 
and  straighten  this  thing  all  out,  and — {While  he  is  speaking,  he  is  leading  Rose 
off  until  the])  exit  together,  L.  3.) 

Justin  (coming  forrvard).  The  plot  thickens.  I  wish  I  could  fathom  that 
captain's  game.     But  a  lawyer  knows  nothing  unless  he's  paid  for  it. 

(Enter  Pat  from  Inn) 

Pat.      Oh,  Mr.   O'FIynn!      Such  doings!      The  brave  captain  has  invited 
ivvrybody  to  sup  with  him  tonight,  at  mp  inn  and  his  expinse! 
(Enter  Chorus,  Jvith  Mike  and  Molly,  follorved  by  Judge  Hooley,  and  Betty,  R.) 

No.   13.     FINALE  (Act  I) 
Chorus 

Oh,  Mr.  O'FIynn,  tonight  at  the  inn. 

There'll  be  turkey  and  chicken  and  mutton; 

And  of  good  things  to  drink  there'll   be  plenty,  we  think. 

To  satisfy  any  chance  glutton. 

Apple  pie  and  rice  pudding  and  cheeses  galore. 

The  tables  and  side-board  adorning; 

Oh,  Mr.  O'FIynn,  tonight  at  the  inn 

We'll  join  in  the  revels  till  morning! 

Pat 
Yes,  yes!      I'll  show  you  all  how  I  can  cater  I 
In  such  a  role  I  am  no  small  pertater! 

Chorus 

Hurrah!      We'll  see  how  Pat  himself  can  cater! 

He  says  himself  he  is  no  second-rater. 

We'll  not  believe  one  moment  he  in  such  a  role  would  prove  to  be 

A  small  and  insignificant  pertater! 

Judge  Hooley 
We'll  forget  our  woes  and  troubles. 

Problems  all  will  be  ignored; 
While  his  efforts  Pat  redoubles 

At  the  gay  and  festive  board! 

Betty 

Ah,   my   heart  is   beating   faster! 

Though  I  know  not  why  or  how, 
I  am  fearful  of  disaster 

If  our  plan  miscarries  now! 

(Enter  Pom  and  Rose,  L.   I) 

Rose  (going  to  Betty)     The  man  is  proving  most  exasperating! 
Betty  What  is  it.   Beauty? 

Rose  With  ardor  he  keeps  on  expatiating 

About  his  duty! 
He  says  he  knows  that  it  is  Rose 
He  has  come   here  to  woo, — 
So  tell  me  why  his  ardent  eye 

Seems  blind,  my  dear,  to  you? 
Why  does  he  seek  to  make  himself 
"*  Agreeable  to  me? 

Betty  Perhaps  he  knows  that  I'm  not  R«««l 

Rose  Impossible ! 


THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN  15 


Pom.  Ah.  see! 

Such  a  dainty,  pretty  pair  of  most  attractive  cousins! 

Can't  deny  how  happy  I  with  either  one  could  be! 

Girls  I've  seen  by  hundreds,  girls  by  scores,  and  girls  by  dozens. 

But  I  ne'er  beheld  a  pair  who  looked  so  good  to  me! 

But  'tis  Rose  I  have  to  marry.     Yet  my  task  is  not  a  light  one; 

Though  both  are  fair  as  roses.  I  must  exercise  great  care  to  pick  the  right  one! 

(Enter  Mrs.  O'Flynn  from  house,  Ji>iih  letter) 
Mrs.  O'Flynn 

A  letter   for  you.   Captain,    from   Sir  Charles! 
(Pom   takes  it) 
Pom. 
Ah.  yes!      From  dear  old  Dad! 
(He  tears  it  open  and  reads) 
"My   dearest   Pomeroy.    I  take 
My  pen  within  my  hand; 
I  trust  this  letter  finds  you  well 
In   dear   old   Ireland. 
Your  mother  says  she'll  come  with  me 
To  see  what  you  are  up  to. 
We'll  bring  the  servants  right  along. 
The  tom-cat  and  the  pup,   too." 

Chorus 
That's  nice!     That's  thoughtful! 
They're  going  to  bring  the   servants   and 
The  tom-cat  and  the  pup,  too! 
Pom  (pretending  to  read  on,  hut  merel])  humming) 
"Um-m-m-m-m,  Um-m-m-m-m      *      *      *" 
Ah,  no!      I'll  read  the  rest  some  other  day. 
It  would   not   interest  you!      Let's  be   gay! 
(He  crushes  the  letter  into  his  pocket,  hut  it  drops  unseen  hv  anvone  except 
Molly,   who  picks  it  up  surreptitiously  during  the  singing   that  follorvs.) 
Judge  Hooley   (to  Pom) 
Tonight,  oh,  gallant  Captain,  unless  fatigue  you  tells  on. 
We'll  all  be  at  the  Inn,  young  sir, — we'll  all  be  there  with  bells  on! 

Full  Chorus  and  Principals 
Moll^  mine!      Molly  mine! 

Etc. 


(CURTAIN) 


End  of  Act  I. 


ACT  II. 

(Entrance  Hall  of  Judge  Hooky's  home.  Evening.  The  Judge  is  about 
to  give  a  reception  in  honor  of  his  ward's  betrothal  to  Capt.  Worthington.  The 
scene  should  show  an  open  fireplace,  left,  with  doors  R.  \,  R.  2,  L.  1 ,  and  L.  2. 
The  front  door  is  in  the  centre,  with  outer  doors  if  there  is  sufficient  stage  room. 
Large  window  on  either  side  of  front  door.  When  the  curtain  rises,  the  Judge 
with  Rose  and  Betty,  are  discovered  awaiting  the  arrival  of  their  guests.  These 
enter  through  front  door  in  pairs  at  first  and  then  in  groups.) 

No.  14.     OPENING  SOLOS  AND  CHORUS. 

Hooley   (looking  at  watch)      'Tis  nine  o'clock.     Our  guests  should  be  arriving! 

But  guests  are  always  late. 
Each    fears    to   be    the    first,    so    each    is    striving 
To  see  how  long  the  other  guest  will  wait. 
Betty  The    ladies    hate    to    leave    the    toilet    table. 

Though  why  they  always  linger,  goodness  know«l 


]6 THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  lOWN 

Rose  They  love  to  stay  as  long  as  they  are  able 

To  put  an  extra  dab  of  powder  on  their  nose! 
HoOLEY  Ah,  here  they  come!  (Enter   \st  couple) 

Good  evening.  Miss  O'Donnell! 
'Tis  half  an  hour  we've  been  expecting  you! 
And  you, — ah,  yes !  'tis  Mister  Tim  O'Connell, — 
How  do  you  do!      How  do  you  do! 
Rose  and  Betty  How  do  you  do! 

(The])  all  shake  hands) 
(As  the  next  three  couples  arrive  the  same  business  is  continued) 
Hooley         Well,   well,   here   come   Mister   and   Missus   Granger! 

Right  glad  are  we  to  welcome  you  to-night! 
Betty  Upon  my  word,  dear  madam,  you're  a  stranger! 

Rose  To  see  you.   Mister  Granger,   is   delight! 

Hooley         Oh,  look  who's  here!     'Tis  Maude  and'Fanny  Dooley! 
How  are  you?     And  you,  too,   Dennis  O'Day! 
Ah,  now  they  come! 
Betty  Yes,  yes,  the  ice  is  broken! 

Rose.  Betty  and  Hooley  The  night  is  fair;  balmy  the  air. 

And  things  will  soon  be  gay! 
(As  the  guests  continue  to  enter  the^  start  singing) 
Chorus 
We're  out  to-night  to  enjoy  ourselves. 
We're  all  dressed  up  in  our  best. 
With   feasting  we  will  employ  ourselves, 

We'll  tackle  the  food  with  zest. 
With    dignity    we'll    comport    ourselves. 

As  we  eat  and  drink  to-night; 
For  there're  few  things  better,  we've  taught  ourselves. 
Than  a  jolly  good  appetite! 
Men  only 

Oh,    we'll    dance   with    the    girls    in    an    old    quadrille. 
Of  waltz   and  gavotte  we  will  have   our  fill; 
And  we'll  keep  up  the  fun  all  night  until 
The  sun  is  rising  in  the  morning! 
Girls  only 
We  will  dance  wnth  you  in  the  minuet. 
Of  the  lancers  gay  we  will  have  a  set; 
And  we'll  none  of  us  go  home,  you  bet, 
'Till  the  morrow  comes  a-dawning! 
All 
We're  out  to-night  to  enjoy  ourselves. 

Etc. 
(Exeunt  Chorus  R.  and  L.,  with  Judge  Hooley) 
Rose.     The  captain's  been  here  a  week  and  he's  still  making  love  to  me! 
Betty  (sighing).     I  can't  understand  it!      (Aside)  Making  love  to  "Betty"! 
Ah,  if  only  he  were!      (to  Rose)     What  are  we  going  to  do  about  it?     I'm  afraid 
you'll  have  to  marry  him,  after  all,  Rose! 

Rose.      Well,   that  wouldn't  be  so  bad  if  I  really  thought  it  was  me  he 
wanted  to  marry.      But  it  isn't.      It's  my  wretched  money. 

Betty.      How  can  you  say  that  when  he  knows  "Betty"   has  no  money > 
He  thinks  you  are  Betty,  and  yet  he  goes  on  making  love  to  you! 

Rose.      But  there's  something  about  his  love-making  that  doesn't  strike  me 
as  just  right,  Betty. 

Betty    (brightening).     Yes?      How,   Rose? 

Rose.      Well,   I  hardly  know!      It  seems  to  me  it's  something  like  wha!'s 
left  ift  a  bottle  of  milk  after  you've  taken  the  cream  off! 
Betty.      You  think  his  love   watery,  do  you? 

Rose.     I  only  know  his  ardor  is  damp.     He  looks  at  you  sometimes.  Betty. 
with  a  look  that  he  never  gives  me/ 


THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN  17 


Betty  (demurely)).  Oh,  do  you  think  so.  Rose?  Perhaps  when  he  does 
that,  he  is  wondering  how  he'll  like  "Rose"  for  a  wife!  (Aside)  I  hope  so, — 
oh.  I  hope  so!  (to  Rose)  You  mustn't  forget  that  he  thinks  he  has  got  to  marry 
me — me,  the  false  Rose! — and  naturally  he's  trying  to  get  used  to  it! 

(Enter  Capt.    Worlhington,   centre) 

No.  15.     TRIO  (Betty),  Rose  and  Capt.  Worthington) 

Pom.  Good  evening,  ladies!      Here  I  am, 

A  trifle  late.  I  must  admit. 
Rose  Oh,  my!      I  wonder  if  he  heard! 

Betty  He  really  don't  look  fussed  a  bit! 

Pom.  Pray,  what  were  you  two  girls  so  busily  talking  about? 

My  ears  are  burning. — was  it  I  you  talked  of? 

Betty  and  Rose  No  doubt! 

We  were  wond'ring  whether  you  really  knew 

Your  own  mind, — 
Pom.  What   a   fall! 

Rose  Also  we  wondered  whether  you 

Had  any  old  mind  at  all! 
Rose  and  Betty  For  a  man  in  love  should  surely  know 

Just   how  to   go  about   it, — 
Pom.  Confound    my    heart!       My    affairs   would    go 

Much  better.   I  think,  without  it. 

All  Three 
Oh.  the  heart  is  no  doubt  necessary. 
But  occasionally  it  is  very 
Obtuse,  unreliable. 
Hardly   so   pliable 
As  one  could  wish  it  to  be. 
The  mind  that  you  keep  in  your  attic 
Could  easily  prove  more  emphatic 
If  it  wasn't  affected 
By  something  connected 
Elsewhere  with  your  a-nat-o-my!  , 

'Tis  the  heart!      'Tis  the  heart! 

'Tis  the  heart  that  most  people  have  need  of. 
When  the  Mind  says.  "Do  this!"  and  the  Heart  says.  "Do  that!" 
'Tis  the  heart  you  had  better  take  heed  of! 
Pom.      Great  news,   girls!      My    father   and   mother   arrive   to-night.      Now 
nothing  will  be  wanting  to  complete  the  happiness   of  this  occasion!      Come,   my 
bride-to-be,   let  us  mingle  with  the   guests!       (At   the   words,   "bride-io-he"  both 
Bett])  and  Rose  turn  to  him  expectantly ;  then  both  laugh  in  embarrassment  at  their 
mistaJfe.     Pom  continues,  not  noticing  this  action  at  all,  apparently.)     Well,  Rose, 
are   you   not   coming?       (He   looks   directly   at   neither,    but   Rose  starts   forward, 
then  recovers  herself  and  bites  her  lip.)      (Aside)   Ah,  ha!      What  did  I  say  all 
along?     But  I  must  keep  this  up  for  the  present.     It  is  too  early  to  declare  myself! 
(To  Betty)  Come,  Rose!      (He  gives  Betty  his  hand,  smiling,  and  they  exit  R.  2. 
Enter  Molly,  dressed  as  a  waitress,  L.   2.) 

Rose.     How  vexing!      I  nearly  gave  myself  away  that  time! 
Molly   (approaching  her).      Excuse  me,   Miss  Rose.      I  don't  want  to  see 
you  give  yourself  away.      That's  why  I'm  here. 

Rose.      If  it  isn't  Molly!      WTiat  are  you  doing  here? 
Molly.      Helping  wait   on  table   to-night,   miss.      But — (looking   around) 
— I'm  worried. 

Rose.     Worried? 

Molly.  Yes.  I've  been  worried  for  a  week,  miss.  Ever  since  I  picked 
this  up!      (Producing  a  letter.) 

Rose  (looking  at  it).  Why,  it's  Capt.  Worthington's  letter!  Have  you 
read  it,   Molly? 


18  THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN 


Molly.     Ye-e-e-s,  miss! 

Rose  {sternly).     Why! 

Molly.  Oh,  miss,  because — because — oh,  because  I'm  a  woman,  I  sup- 
pose!     (naivc/p)   All  women  are  fond  of  reading! 

Rose.     So  you  know  the  contents  of  this  letter,  do  you?     Are  they  important? 

Molly.     /  think  they're  important  to  ])ou.  Miss  Rose. 

Rose  (aside).  Well,  I  suppose  I  ought  to  find  out  what  she  knows  in  order 
to  keep  her  from  mischief.  (to  Moll^)  You  may  go,  Molly.  I  will  return  this 
letter  to  the  captain. 

Molly.     Very  well,  miss.      But  you'll  read  it,  won't  you? 

Rose    (mth  dignity).     I,  too,   am  a  woman,   Molly! 

(Exit  Molh,  L.  2) 

(Rose  faJfes  letter  from  envelope  and  proceeds  to  read  to  herself  humming 
io  the  music  theme  that  accompanies  this  action.      Music  ceases.) 

Rose.  *  *  *  What's  this?  (she  reads  aloud)  "*  *  *  Be  sure 
and  keep  your  eye  on  the  right  girl,  my  son.  Don't  be  fooled  by  any  nonsense 
the  cousins  may  try  on  you.  Doubtless,  like  all  young  women  whose  heads  are 
full  of  romantic  nonsense,  they  will  change  places  or  something  of  that  sort  and 
pretend  to  be  other  than  they  are.  But  I  trust  to  your  good  sense,  which  you 
inherited  from  your  father,  to  avoid  getting  m.ixed  up  with  the  wrong  one.  Your 
unerring  instinct  will  tell  you  which  is  the  girl  with  the  money,  anyway.  That 
is  the  girl  for  you,  my  boy,  and  don't  you  forget  it."  (Rose  sinks  into  a  chair) 
Oh,  this  is  dreadful!  This  is  positively  insulting!  (Capt.  Worthington  enters 
quieth,  R.  2,  stops  and  listens).  So  he  is  after  my  money!  I  knew  it  all  the 
time!      He  doesn't  care  a  rap  about  me;  it's  all  the  miserable  money! 

Pom.  (coming  to  her).  Why,  Bett^!  (Rose  starts).  How  can  you  say 
that?      Have  I  not  made  love  to  you,   Betty? 

Rose  (indignanth) .     Made  love  to  me!     To  my  money,  you  mean,  sir! 

Pom.  But,  Betty,  you  haven  t  any  money!  It  is  Rose  who  has  the  money, 
isn't  it? 

Rose  (confused).  Oh,  what  am  I  saying?  This  is  dreadful!  Sir,  I  will 
have  nothing  more  to  do  with  you!  I  will  never  marry  you!  If  it  be  money 
you  are  after,  confine  your  attentions  to  my  cousin  Rose!  As  you  yourself  have 
reminded  me,  it  is  Rose  who  has  the  money, — not  Betty!      Now,   go! 

Pom.  (politely).  Then  I  have  your  permission  to  make  my  addresses  to 
your  cousin? 

Rose.  My  permission  is  unnecessary.  You  are  obliged  to  do  so!  In  case 
you  forget  that  obligation,  here  is  your  letter,  sir!  (She  gives  it  to  him;  he  takes 
it,  smiling)  Go  to  your  Rose,  Captain,  and  let  us  hope  you'll  find  no  thorns! 
(She  exits  hurriedh,  R.   1.) 

Pom.  Phew!!  I'm  glad  that's  over!  It  was  positively  disagreeable.  And 
now  for  my  Betty!  Ah,  Betty,  if  I  leave  Ireland  without  you,  'twill  not  be  for 
long!     I  shall  hear  you  calling  me  to  come  back! 

No.    16.      SONG   (Capt.    Worthington) 

"Come  back,  beloved,"   a  soft  voice  is  calling. 

Calling  to  me  in  the  silence  of  night. 
Memory's   echoes   are   rising   and   falling, — 

I  see  your  smile  like  a  vision  of  light! 
Why  did  I  wander  away  from  my  loved  one? 
Here  among  strangers  my  heart's  sad  and  lone. 
Far,   far  away,  dear;  night-time  and  day,  dear, 
I  hear  you  pleading  to  come  back,  my  own! 
"Come  back,  beloved,"  your  soft  voice  is   calling. 

Calling  me  home  to  be  with  you  once  more; 
Hopes   now   are   rising  that  long  have  been    falling, — 

"Come  back,  beloved!" — I  hear  you,   asthore! 
(Enter  Bett}),  L.   L) 
Pom.     Ah,  Rose!      How  beautiful  you  look  to-night  I 


THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN  19 


Betty  {cheerfully).     Do  I? 

Pom.     Do  you  know,  Rose,  I'd  like  to  ask  you  a  question! 

Betty.,    All  right!     What  is  it? 

Pom.     Will  you  marry  me,  Rose? 

Betty  (startled).  Oh!  (aside)  NoH)  what  am  I  going  to  say?  Who 
am  I?  He  thinks  I'm  Rose,  after  all.  If  I  say  "Yes",  it  will  get  him  in  trouble. 
If  I  say    'No",  it  will  spoil  the  plan! 

Pom.    (taking  her  in  his  arms).     Do  you  love  me.  Rose? 

Betty.     Betty  loves  you!  (lustin  is  seen,  L.  2.  He  hesitates.) 

Pom.     But  do  Jjou  love  me? 

Betty  (struggling).     Betty  loves  you,  I  said! 

Pom.     Then  you  are  Betty,  are'nt  you? 

Betty   (suddenly).     Yes! 

Pom.     Oh,  joy!     Say  it  again,  then! 

Betty.      "Betty  loves  you!" 

Pom.     And  you'll  marry  me? 

Betty   (ruefully).     I  suppose  I'll  have  to,  now! 

(Justin  comes  forward  from  L.   2) 

Justin.  Congratulations,  young  people!  Sir, —  (to  Pom) — you  have  done 
me  a  good  turn! 

Pom.  And  you,  sir,  have  given  me  a  good  turn,  I  do  assure  you!  Were 
you  watching  us? 

Justin.  I  do  not  believe  in  interrupting  a  good  thing.  But  mum's  the  word! 
(Enter  Hooley,  Mrs.   O'Flynn  and  Chorus,  R.    1    and  R.   2) 

Hooley.  It  Is  too  bad  that  Maggie  Maguire  isn't  here.  Poor  """^J  "he 
must  have  suffered  terribly. 

Mrs.  O'Flynn.     What  happened  to  her.  Judge? 

Hooley.      Alas!      What  has  not  happened  to  her! 

No.    I  7.      SONG    (Judge  Hooley  with  Chorus) 
Oh,  listen  to  a  tale  of  woe. 
Of  fate  so  grim  and  dire; 
It's  all  about  a  girl  you  know — 
Poor  skinny  Mag  Maguire. 
Her  lover  came  to  her  to-day 
And  said,  "Farewell,  asthore!" 
What   could   she   do,    what   could   she   say? 
She  certainly   felt  sore. 
She  fell  in  twenty  kinds  of  fits, 
And  then  she  pulled  herself  to  bits. 

(spoken)      Thus: 

She  flung  her  arms  to  Heaven  above, 

She   snapped  her  teeth   till   they   cracked; 

in  grim  despair,  she  tore  her  hair. 

Then  she  lost  her  head,  that's  a  fact. 

She  tossed  her  chin  far  in  the  air. 

She  lost  her  self-control; 

She  cast  her  eyes  down  on  the  floor, — 

You  could  see  them  fall  and  roll. 

At  last  she  broke  off  suddenly. 

Just  where,   I  cannot  say ; 

And  then  she  broke  her  heart  because 

She'd  thrown  herself  away! 

Oh,  poor  Maggie  Maguire, — 

Trouble  for  Maggie  now  ceases! 

They  got  out  the  broom  and  they  swept  up  the  room 

When  Maggie  Maguire  went  to  pieces! 

(Chorus  repeats) 


20 


THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN 


(The  outer  door-bell  rings  violenil}f) 
HooLEY.      Ah,   more  arrivals!      Let  'em  all  come! 
Mrs.  OTlYNN.      Who  can  it  be? 
Pom.      It  must  be  father! 
Betty.     Oh,  dear,  whatever  will  I  do  now? 

(Enter  Rose,  R.  2) 

Rose  (to  Hooley)).  There's  a  coach  and  four  outside,  and  servants  and 
baggage  and  I  don't  know  what!  (To  Pom)  I  hope  you're  satisfied,  sir! 
(Bettp  clings  io  Pom)      Don't  cHng  to  a  broken  reed,  Betty  dear! 

Justin.     Broken  promise,  I  should  say! 

(Enter,  through  front  door,  Mr.  Partington,  Mr.  Smith  and  men  servants, 
of  Sir  Charles,  one  of  whom  carries  a  cat,  and  another  a  small  dog.) 

No.  18.     ENSEMBLE 
Smith  and  Partington 

Sir  Charles   and   Lady  Worthington 

In  Limerick  have  arrived. 

Her  ladyship  the  ocean   voyage 

Has   happily   survived. 

It's  true  when  she  was  on  the  boat. 

So  bitter  was  her  cup. 

She  said,  "My  plan  is  all  awry, 

I  think  I'll  throw  it  up!" 
Smith  But  she  didn't! 

i-'AUi'iMGTON  No,  she  didn't! 

Both  And  that  is  why  you  see 

The  coachman  and  the  butler  and 

All  the  rest  of  the  familee! 

Men  Servants  Chorus     Oh,  Yes!     Yes!     Yes! 

That  is  just  why  you  see 

The  coachman  and  the  butler  and 

All  the  rest  of  the  familee! 
Full  Chorus 

That's  nice!      That's  thoughtful! 

They've  brought  their  blooming  servants   and 

The  tom-cat  and  the  pup,  too!  (Business) 

Partington         With  measure  grave  and  dignified. 

With   aspect  woe-begone. 

Due  to  the  tossing  on  the  Channel-crossing, 

Comes  Lady  Worthington! 
Smith  With  pompous  pride  and  smiling  face. 

To  greet  his  only  son. 

Hale  and  hearty,  to  this  festive  party 

Comes  Sir  Charles  Worthington! 
Men  Servants  Chorus     With  pompous  pride  and  smiling  face. 

To  greet  his  only  son. 

Hale  and  hearty,  to  this  festive  party 

Comes  Sir  Charles  Worthington, — 
Full  Chorus 

Sir  Charles  and  Lady  Worthington! 

(Enter  Sir  Charles  and  Lad})  Worthington,  through  front  door) 

HooleY.      Welcome, — thrice  welcome! 

Pom.      Hello,  Dad!      Glad  to  see  you,  mother! 

(The  Chorus  and  all  Principals,  except  Pom,  Sir  Charles,  Lady  Worthington 
and  Betty),  graduallv  exeunt:' all  entrances  R.  and  L.,  after  singing  ceases  on  No, 
18.) 

Sir  Charles.     Well,  my  son,  and  so  this  is  your  promised  bride? 

Pom.     This  is  she!      (He  presents  Beil\f.) 


THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN  21 


Lady  W.     Very  creditable,  I  am  sure! 

Sir   Charles.      You   lucky    dog!       What   a   charming   creature!       Really, 
these  Irish  aic  worth  cultivating! 

Lady   W.      And  such  a  house,   too!      /  thought   Ireland  was  all  bogs  and 
discontent ! 

Sir  Charles  (to  Pom.).     You've  got  it  all  fixed  up,  my  boy?     You  made 
no  mistake? 

Pom.      No  mistake!      Look  at  her!      Rich  in  beauty,  rich  in  youth,  rich  in 
love, — 

Sir   Charles    (sl^ly).      *      *      's^      and    rich    in   wealth,    eh.    Pom?      Ah. 
you  sly  dog! 

Pom.      Well,  as  to  that — (hesitating) — I  haven't  given  it  much  thought. 

Sir  Charles.      What!     Don't  tell  me  you've  been  too  busy  with  her  figure 
to  pay  any  attention  to  her  figures! 

Betty    (interposing).     Oh,  Sir  Charles,   I  am  as  poor  as  a  church  mouse! 

Sir  Charles.      No,  no,  my  love!      That's  your  coyness! 

Lady  W.      (comfortably)).     We  know  all  about  it.  Rose! 

Betty    (impetuouslx)) .      But   I'm  not   Rose!      Tm   oniy   Betty!      Pom,   tell 
them! 

Pom.      Well,  the  fact  is,   father,  that  Rose  turned  me  down,  and  as  I  was 
really  in  love  with   Betty   here   all  the  time,   I   was   glad   of  it,   don't  you  know! 

Sir  Charles.      But  the  money,  my  boy, — the  money! 

Pom.     The  money,   father,  can  go  hang: 

Sir  Charles    (rvrathjully).      And  so,    by  Christopher,   can  ^ou!      What 
time's  the  next  boat  back? 

Betty.      Oh,  Pom,  see  what  you've  done! 

Pom.     There,  there!      Never  mind,  Betty!      Let's  go  to  the  library.     I  want 
to  consult  an  important  book. 

Sir  Charles.     What  book,  sir? 

Pom.      The  time-table,   father!      It  is  the  least  I  cr.n  do  for  you! 
(He  takes  Betty)  fcl;   the  hand  and  leads  her  off,  R.    1  ) 

No.   1 9.     DUET  (Sir  Charles  and  Lady;  Worthington) 

Both  We  braved  the  rolling  ocean  billows 

When  we  crossed  the  Channel  to  come  over  here; 

Would   that   we'd   stayed   among   the   pillows 

In  our  house  in  London  damp  and  drear! 
Lady  W.  In  this  fiasco  we  must  remember 

To  maintain  our  old  sang  froid! 
Sir  Charles     But,  my  dear  lady,  permit  me  to  say 

I  cannot  help  but  feel  annoyed. 
Both  Youth  undutiful  is  not  beautiful. 

We  detest  it  all  things   above; 

And  our  attitude  towards  ingratitude 

Is  as   frowning  as  it  is  towards  love. 
Lady  W.  We  must  be  magnanimous! 

Sir  Charles    What  is  love,  my  dear,  to  us? 

Plans   frustrated,  we're  check-mated, — 

Pom  should  have  been  more  solicitous! 
Both  Youth  undutiful  is  not  beautiful. 

We  detest  it  all  things  above; 

But  of  things  that  irritate  and  exasperate. 

Worst  of  all  is  the  thing  called  Love!  (DANCE) 

(Sir  Charles  and  Lady  W.  exeunt  L.  1.     Enter  Hooley  and  Rose,  R.  2) 
HooleY.      My  dear,   I   feared  all  along  that  this  deception  would  end  dis- 
astrously. 

Rose.      But,  my  dear.   Mr.   Hooley,  you  would  not  have  me  marry  a  man 
I  don't  love! 

Hooley.    (doubtfully;)    No-o-o-c ! 


22  THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN 


Rose.      And,  besides,  he  didn't  even  love  me! 

HoOLEY.  Well,  then,  there's  no  love  lost  between  you,  which  is  well.  But 
now  what  is  going  to  become  ot  the  Captain  and  poor  Betty?  He  can't  marry 
her  without  a  cent  between  em,  and  the  modern  stomach  cannot  subsist  on  bread 
and  cheese  and  kisses! 

Rose,  r/jep  wouldn't  be  able  to  buy  even  the  bread  and  cheese!  I  have 
it,  Mr.  Hooley!  I  will  settle  half  my  fortune  on  Betty  the  day  she  marries!  I 
owe  her  that  much  for  getting  me  out  of  a  very  disagreeable  hole! 

Hooley.  That  is  kind  and  generous  of  you,  my  dear.  But, — well,  sir, 
what  do  you  want?  {Partington  has  entered  through  front  door  and  stands  siifflyf 
before  Hooley.) 

Partington.  Beg  pawdon,  yer  washup,  but  there's  a  party  just  drove  up 
in  a  keb  that's  arskin'   for  Judge  'Ooley. 

Hooley.      Who  can  it  be,   at  this   hour? 

Partington.  E's  a  hold  gent  with  whiskers,  yer  washup,  and  speaks  with 
a  haccent. 

Hooley.      Oblige  me   by   showing   him   in. 

(Enter  Ezra  Q.  Hicks  through  front  door.  He  is  dressed  in  exaggerated 
Yankee  farmer  style,  n>ith  a  Prince  Albert  coat  that  is  green  and  shiny  ivith  age, 
end  a  rough  stove-pipe  hat.) 

Hicks.      He  don't  hev  to,  by  heck!      Here  I  ami 

Hooley.  You  are  welcome,  sir,  though  it  is  my  misfortune  that  we  have 
been  strangers  thus  far! 

Hicks.  I've  heer'd  o'  ye,  though,  Jedge!  P'raps  ye've  even  heer'd  o'  mel 
— Ezra  Q.  Hicks,   by  hen,  re-tired  farmer  an'  bustin'  with  wealth. 

(During  the  singing  of  this  song,  the  members  of  the  Chorus  come  on  gradu- 
ally, all  entrances.      They  all  evince  much  interest  in  the  new-comer.) 

No.  20.      SONG   {Ezra  Q.  Hicks) 

Oh,  a  farmer's  life  is  a  life  of  strife. 

But  it's  very  much  worse   for  the   farmer's  wife! 

Which  is  how  I  account  for  the  fact  that  I 

A  lonesome  bachelor  will  surely  die. 

But  I've  saved  my  money  and  here  I  am, 

A  loyal   nephew  of  your  Uncle  Sam! 

I've  dollars  and  dollars  and  dollars  to  spend. 

An'   I'm   going  to  have  a  good  time  to  the  very  endl 

So,  hip-hurray  for  E.  Q.  Hicks! 

The   well-known    farmer   with   the    spondulix. 

I  didn't  get  my  dough  from  the  po-ta-to, 

But  I  struck  a  bit  o'  luck  in  Eighty-Six. 

I  never  got  nuthin'   fer  all  my  toil. 

Till  the   farm  one  day  started  spurtin'  oil. 

That's   why   folks  point  to   E.   Q.    Hicks 

As    the    well-known    farmer   with    the    spondulix. 
One  morning  I  went  forth  to  plow. 
An'   to  coax  some  milk   from  my  one  lean  cow, — 
When  a   feller  in  a  buggy  comes  drivin'  by. 
An'  he  caught  my  fancy  an'  he  caught  my  eye. 
An*  he  sez,  sez  he,  "Here's  a  pile  o'  dough, 
I'll  buy  your  old   farm,   an'  on  shares  we'll  go!" 
So  the  wells  we  sunk, — and  the  oil  come  out, — 
Oh,   a   farmer's  life  is  the  life,   no  doubt! 

So.  hip-hurray  for  E.  Q.   Hicks, 

Etc. 
Hooley.      Very   well.    Mr.    Hicks.      This — (turning   to  Rose) — is— 
HiCKS.      I'll  bet  my  bottom  dollar  that's  Rose  McCoy! 
Hooley.     It  is.  Mr.  Hicks,  but— (Ae  pauses  in  astonished  inquiry.) 
Hicks.      I  knowed  her  at  oncet  by  the  likeness  to  her  mother  1 


THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN  23 

Rose.     My  mother! 

Hicks.  Yes,  yer  mother,  bless  her  heart!  I  knoo  her  an'  reklect  her  well. 
I'm  travellin*  a  bit  to  re-kooperate  in  me  old  age,  an',  passin'  through  Ireland,  jest 
to  see  ef  'twuz  as  green  as  it's  sung  up  to  be,  thought  I'd  call  at  Limerick  an' 
pay  my  respecks  to  her  darter.  Rose!      An'  here  she  is,  by  golly! 

HOOLEY.     This  is  indeed  remarkable.      But  how — 

Hicks.  Easy  as  pie.  Her  rich  old  uncle  was  a  pertickler  friend  o*  mine. 
His  sister — that's  Rose's  mother — came  from  the  old  country  to  Noo  England 
to  visit  her  brother.  1  he  baby  was  born  on  that  visit,  much  to  everyone's  surprise 
an'  delight.  They  named  the  baby  Rose!  My  dear — (to  Rose) — hoiv  you've 
growed ! 

(Enter  Sir  Charles  and  Lady  W orth'mgton,  R.   I ) 

Sir  Charles.      Good-bye,   Judge,  we're  through! 
Lady  W.      We  are  much  disappointed. 
Rose.      I  am  very  sorry. 

(Enter  Pom,  Bett\),  Justin  and  Mrs.  O'Flynn,  L.  2) 

Sir  Charles.     Well,  it  can't  be  helped!      Call  the  cab! 

Hicks.      What's   all   this?      Why   the   hurry? 

Rose.  Oh,  Mr.  Hicks,  it's  all  your  friend  my  uncle's  fault!  He  left  me 
his  money,  and  this  gentleman  here — (indicating  Sir  Charles) — wanted  his  son 
to  marry  me,  and — 

Hicks.     Well? 

HooLEY.  And  the  son  fell  in  love  with  my  other  ward,  Mr.  Hicks.  Were 
she  is!      (He  presents  Belt}).) 

Hicks.     Well,  what  of  it? 

Sir  Charles.  Sir,  since  you  are  so  curious,  I  will  condescend  to  explain. 
This  friend  of  yours,  I  understand,  left  his  money  to  the  elder  of  two  nieces,  and 
as  Rose  is  the  elder,  she  got  the  money.  I  promised  mp  old  friend,  Donovan 
McCoy,  when  he  lay  dying,  that  my  son  should  marry  his  daughter.  His  daughter 
ic  Rose  McCoy.  It  is  not  ml;  fault  that  your  rich  friend  in  America  left  Rose 
his  money.      It  is  merely — ahem! — an  unfortunate  coincidence! 

Hicks.      But  did  he  leave  Rose  his  money? 

HoolEY.     Of  course.     She  is  the  elder  of  the  two. 

Hicks.      But  is  she  the  elder  of  the  two?     She  don't  look  it. 

Rose    (curtseying).      Thank  you! 

Hicks   (to  Betty).     What  day  wuz  you  born,  miss? 

Hooley;     Betty  was  born  on  the  24th  of  May,   1872.  Mr.  Hicks. 

Hicks.      Strange!       (to  Betty)      An'  can  you  remember  the  hour? 

Hooley.  She  can't,  Mr.  Hicks;  but  /  can!  It  was  six  o'clock  in  the 
morning. 

Hicks.  It  wuz,  eh?  Waal,  let's  see!  (He  produces  an  old  book,  ^  diary, 
and  fumbles  in  it)  I  carried  this  here  along  thinkin'  some  of  the  records  an' 
incidents  an'  sich  might  prove  interestin'.  It's  my  Diary  fer  1872!  (He  pro- 
duces a  neiver  book)  An'  this  is  my  Diary  fer  this  year!  I  never  miss  a  day! 
Ah,  yes;  here  we  are!  "May  24 — Mrs.  McCoy  give  birth  to  a  darter  at  five 
o'clock  this  morning  at  her  brother's  home  which  she  is  visitin'.  They're  going 
to  call  the  baby  Rose." 

Hooley.  Your  record  is  excellent,  Mr.  Hicks.  It  was  five  o'clock  in  the 
morning  that  Rose  was  born,  as  I  myself  have  long  known,  and  as  she  knows,  too! 

Sir  Charles.  That  settles  it,  then!  Rose  wins  by  an  hour.  Sixty  minutes 
between  nothing  and  something,  my  dear!  Come!  (He  takes  Lady  W.'s  hand 
as  if  to  lead  her  off.) 

Hicks.      Wait  a  bit!      What  time  is  it?      (He  looks  around.) 

Hoolf.Y  (consulting  his  Umtch) .     It  is  now  ten  minutes  to  twelve. 

Hicks.      An'  what  time  would  that  be  in  Americky? 

Hooley.  Well,  there's  five  hours  difference  in  time.  That  would  make 
it  ten  minutes  to  seven  in  the  evening  over  in  America,  Mr.  Hicks!  Are  you 
satisfied? 

Hicks.      You   bet   I    am!      Jist   as   I   hoped!      So, — if   Rose   was   born   in 


24 


THE  LASS  OF  LIMERICK  TOWN 


Noo  England  at  five  o'clock  in  the  morning,  it  was  ten  o'clock  in  the  morning  here, 
warn't  it? 

HoOLEY.      Certainly ! 

Hicks.  An'  as  Bett'^  was  born  in  Limerick  at  six  o'clock  that  same  morning, 
as  the  records  prove,  then  she  had  been  in  the  world  just  jour  hours  before  Rose 
was  born! 

Sir  Charles.      Heaven^  and  earth!      That  is  a  fact! 

Hicks  (turning  to  Betty).  So  you,  my  dear,  are  the  elder  of  the  two 
nieces  of  my  old  friend  and  the  money  therefore  belongs  to  you! 

Betty.      Oh,    Pom!      Does  it  make  any  difference? 

Pom.  My  darling,  no  matter  /ion;  rich  you  were,  nothing  could  separate 
us  now! 

Justin.      Poor  Rose! 

Rose  (smiling).  Poor  indeed,  Mr.  O'Flynn!  I'm  afraid  I  shall  have  to 
go  to  law  about  it! 

Justin.  In  that  case,  come  to  me.  Rose!  I  have  always  loved  you,  as 
you  know!  We  will  read  the  law  together  and  in  that  way  you  will  learn  to  love 
me!      (Rose  goes  to  him  and  he  kisses  the  tips  of  her  fingers.) 

Mrs.  O'Flynn.      Bless  you,  my  children! 

Sir  Charles.  Send  the  cab  away!  My  dear — (to  Lady  W.) — I  think 
we  shall     ay,  after  all! 


Pom. 
I  love  you  little  sweetheart,  oh,  I've  loved  you  all  the  while! 
(hu&ine&s)     I  love  your  eyes,  I  love  your  hands,  I  love  your  sunny  smile! 

Betty 

I'm  glad  that  I  am  Betty  but,  dear  Pom,  do  you  suppose 
That  you'd  have  loved  me  quite  as  much  if  I'd  been  really  Rose? 

Pom. 

"A  rose  by  any  other  name" — 'tis  that  I'm  thinking  of! 
It's  not  the  name, — 'tis  you  yourself  I  love,  I  love,  I  love! 


It's 
It's 
It's 


Together 

love   that  makes   the  world  go   'round, 
And  puts  things  on  the  square! 
love  that  makes  a  story  sound 
Agreeable  anywhere! 
love  that  made  this  story  whose 
Finale   to-night  we  crown — 
And   when   they   ask:    "Whom   did   he   choose?' 
Just  say,   "The  Lass" — 
Just  say,  "The  Lass" — 
"The  Lass  of  Limerick  Town!" 

Full  Chorus  and  Principals 
It's  love  that  makes  the  world  go    round. 

Etc. 


(CURTAIN) 


End  of  Opera 


MUSIC 

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